Finishing Is Beginning

This is my 'finishing' photo. My finishing not taking enough care of myself like I need to. It was taken on November 2, 2013 at the Run or Dye event in Santa Rosa. I was feeling so-so that day, with one of the constant headaches I have been dealing with for years now since my car accident in 2006. The accident that derailed me from the path I was on and started me in a completely different direction. Personally, I hate this photo. It is not how I see myself. But, it is what it is and it is time for me to acknowledge that...and know that nothing is ever stagnant. That I can be much more comfortable with myself. That there is ALWAYS something I can do to be more comfortable.

Part of this is to do more raw living...and less cooked dieting.

I am pictured with my loving husband. He loves me no matter how thick or thin I am...on any level of being.  I love him back in the same way.

My challenge is to show that sort of forgiving love for myself. Sometime we are our own harshest critic.

This is also my beginning photo for this blog. My RAW journey. I have tried this journey many times, have had 'success' as well as overturned apple carts along the away. I guess like many journeys...there is really no beginning or end...just the next page and new chapters. I have no idea how it will go, but with the word 'raw' in it - I expect it will be just that. My focus of this journey is to incorporate more awareness and care into my life. I don't expect it will be easy, but it should prove to be ... interesting.

After many years of dealing with weight consciousness, self loathing and overcoming bulimia, I decided to 'ignore' the scales. I don't use them anymore, if I can help it. The last time I weighed in was at the doctor's office. That was on Oct 10, 2013 @ 220 pounds. I have no idea how much I weigh here, but I suspect it is pretty much about the same. Give or take a few pounds, this is pretty much the 'heaviest' I have been in my life. I think I am ready to let go of some that extra 'baggage' now. It is not my goal though. My goal is to be healthy, more self aware and loving.

End of story...and a new beginning.

Santa Rosa 'Run or Dye" November 2, 2013